The effect of fatherless family.

When a father is absent, he sets the entire family unit back many, many years. All the children miss out on first-hand leadership, sacrificial love, and what being a caretaker and a protector is all about. The children's lives are incomplete, even if they are good kids that do all of the right things. The father's role cannot be duplicated nor can the mother replace the father in their lives...although many of them do a valiant job at cross-training. Many boys are fatherless because of negligence of the father. Many fathers believe after the marriage is over, so is child rearing. They are far less than the sperm donor they have become.

How can a so-called father handle such a precious relationship so carelessly? How can they not know that from the time they take their first breath until he takes his last breath, he is supposed to be a daddy? When a father abandons his children, for all intended purposes he has disowned them. It's a hate that can't be matched and it hurts to the bone. Some children never recover, some carry this burden of 'worthlessness' or 'not being good enough' all of their lives.

But it's the son where the most damage is done. His father is as much if not more so apart of his makeup as his mother...and mommas role in his life is just as important...but it's a much different role. A son needs the uniqueness of a 'good daddy', one that will impose his will on his son in times of rebellion, disobedience and defiance. A son needs a 'good daddy' in good times as well...for support and to just share with.
Many of those sons are always looking back, they just can't wipe away the haunting memory of a father that just didn't want them. Having a father they have never been able to count on is a recurring nightmare over and over again. Many boys are in a daze because of the emotional scars. Some will be torched souls for the rest of their natural lives because of their father's indifference and inability to really love them. Some just want to escape to somewhere, anywhere else, but they can't leave, there is nowhere to go.

Even though they go on without him, the pain just won't go away, they're always licking their wounds; they're just shattered. Sometimes, they fool a bunch of folk around them, but no one can hide from what's in their heart. For many, their world will never be right-side-up, so they just give their lives away, all because of fathers that didn't care. It's the disconnect that burdens the son down, they need that connection with his father. They will readily forgive and forget; they will even accept a token love, just hoping to relieve the pain, if not heal the heart.

Because of a fatherless up bringing, sometimes a son feels he has to be a leader, protector, and a provider for the family. He tends to try and grow-up too fast trying to be the 'man of the house'. In reality he is too young for such responsibilities. But he has to help his mom out by doing whatever he can, which can lead to doing the wrong things. When a father is absent his son can develop such reckless habits and miss out on the real value of life. Without a father there to lead, guide and direct his son, trouble can come in a hurry. More times than not, a life of crime will follow. Not always the crimes that sends a youngster to juvenile, a lot of the time it's the petty stuff they get away with. But these petty crimes plant the seed that can become a lifestyle later on. He may even try to fit-in with the wrong crowd. Life is tough as it is, but it can teach a young boy some hard lessons real fast or destroy him before his life even gets started...without a 'good father'.
Because he has no live-in example, he doesn't have proper grooming or know how. He doesn't know how to respond to trouble properly a lot of times. All of mommas warnings seem to fall on deaf ears. In a crisis, emotions can get the best of him. He doesn't know that emotional responses can make a situation a lot worse. All he knows is he has to do something. He doesn't have time to think and many times end up doing more harm than good. But he had more time than he thought. But how could he know? Hmmm

And some are fatherless for other reasons. The father may be deceased or incarcerated. Others are the product of unwed parents, where a live-in dad was never an option in the first place. Nevertheless the boy's life doesn't get off to the good start that it would if a 'good father was in
the home'. Sometimes a biological father can be in the home, but his lifestyle has the same negative effect as a boy that is fatherless. And sometimes it's a lot worse. For many of the fathers themselves have not grownup and matured for one reason or another; many are poor leaders, sub-par providers and many mistake abuse (verbal and physical) for discipline. They do more harm than good because of misplace priority and stunted growth in the journey of life. Other times there is a step-dad in the home and many are wonderful fathers. But many are not. Some stepfathers have no use for children that are not their own and the stepchildren are mistreated...sometimes even openly.

Despair not. A bad start does not cement their doom. An ideal home has a 'good dad', but the reality is that all simply do not, probably most do not. But many young boys go on to be fine men and very 'good fathers' themselves. They are more than smooth talkers, their 'love' cuts to the core and does not cut corners. It's the kind of love that put milk and bread on the table. It's the kind of love that doesn't takes their own children's lunch money nor allows them to come home to an empty dinner table. It's the kind of love that doesn't breaks their heart time after time.

Somehow, they figured out that love is more than saying "I love you." They know their love is not suppose to hurt those that they love. Somehow they were taught or learned that true love makes a daddy provide for, protect and defend his children from; true love does and true love gives. They understand that their children don't really want a lot. They only want daddy to give them something every once in awhile, but most of all they just want daddy...to love them. How did they figured out what some daddy's never figure out in a lifetime? They understand why their dad never got it. They understand it's the little things that takes a relationship from nothing to good and from good to special.

Hope every kid has a fathers love in this world I remain.

May lord vishnu bless us all.

P.S.N.KUMAR