Few tips to stay positive in negative situations.

There are times when we must go through negative situations. Maybe people say something negative about us, or they show rejection or even resentment against us. In such situations, it may be difficult to stay positive. We may be inclined to react negatively to them. That won’t do us any good though; doing so will just make the situation worse. People may behave even more negatively to us. Our day would be filled with anger and disappointment. At the end, nobody wins.

Though it’s not easy, it’s important to stay positive in negative situations. Beat the negative situations by staying positive. Here are 15 tips on how to do it; pick the ones that work for you:

1.Never respond when you are not calm. If you are not sure that you are calm, don’t respond. Take time to calm yourself down first.

2.Take a deep breath as a first step to calm yourself down.

3.Speak in gentle tone to reduce the tension of the situation.

4.Realize that you can find opportunities in negative situations. Albert Einstein said: “In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.”

5.Look at the content of what people say to you for something positive that you can act upon to improve yourself. Don’t just reject the whole messages.

6.For the rest of the messages which is negative, simply ignore it.

7.Maintain positive view of the people. Maybe you don’t like their messages or behavior, but that doesn’t mean that you can hate them personally.

8.Realize that having negative feelings will just hurt you, not them. So there is no reason for you to have any negative feeling.

9.If you make mistakes, be open to admit it.

10.If you make mistakes, remember this quote by George Bernard Shaw: “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.”

11.If you can, listen to motivational audio program to feed positive thoughts into your mind.

12.Talk to a positive friend who can encourage you.

13.Remember your favorite quotes to give you inspiration and motivation. This is one reason why you should have quote of the day.

14.Look at the negative situations as your training sessions for real life. The higher you climb in life, the worse the negative situations would be, so you’d better be prepared for them.

15.Realize that you can’t please everyone. In fact, nobody can. Sometimes you need to just let some people go. Realizing this will relieve you from a lot of unnecessary burden so that you can focus on the people that you can positively interact with.

Rahul Mahajan.

Even if he comes back rahul ka shaadi there are enough girls to come back. True love doesnot have value. Only people who can be voilent, drunk or heroes of this society.

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/article/15/2010073020100730051824755b39d340b/After-a-night-of-violent-abuse-TV-show-wife-dumps-Rahul.html

Let people decide what they want in life.

37 Lessons to Help You Live a Life that Matters

I learn a lot from the book Success Built to Last. To give you the gems of what I learn, I have summarized it into 37 priorities. If you apply these lessons consistently, I’m sure you will live a life that matters.

I suggest that you use these lessons as your personal checklist. Check them periodically to see the items you need to improve, and make personal commitment to apply them. Over time, you can measure your progress in applying these lessons and, consequently, in living a life that matters.
So here are the 37 priorities to help you live a life that matters:

Discover what matters to you
Success in the long run has less to do with finding the best idea, organizational structure, or business model, than with discovering what matters to you as individuals.
Have the courage to do what matters
You create enduring success not because you are perfect or lucky but because you have the courage to do what matters to you.
Don’t rely on others’ approval
Successful people don’t rely on the approval of others to pursue their cause or calling. They are more emotionally committed to doing what they love than being loved by others.
Redefine success
The real definition of success is a life and work that bring personal fulfillment and lasting relationships and makes a difference in the world in which they live.
Don’t chase money and recognition
Money and recognition are just outcomes of passionately working often on an entirely different objective that is often a personal cause or calling.
Recognize signs of passion
Builders (the term used by the authors to refer to “enduringly successful people”) become lovers of an idea they are passionate about for years and years. They lose track of the passage of time while doing it. In a real sense, it’s something that they’d be willing to do for free, for its own sake.
Worry more about being what you love
Most of us worry more about being loved than being what we love.
Be sure you do what you love
It’s dangerous not to do what you love. If you don’t love what you’re doing, you’ll lose to someone who does. Passionate people try harder, try more things, and move faster than people who only do things for a living.
Check whether you’re on the right track
You know that you are on the right track when you naturally obsess over what you love. What you love attracts you even when you’re too tired to do anything else.
Find your mission in life
To find your mission in life is to discover the intersection between your heart’s deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger (Frederick Beekner).
Find place for your multiple passions
You do need to find a place for everything that is meaningful to you (your portfolio of passions). When you exclude all other things except a single focus for your life, there is a danger that you might find it impossible to locate the real treasure.
Experiment with your other passions
Carve out a little time each week to experiment in some way with one of your other passions.
Never retire from what you love
Builders’ passions create meaning in their lives that is nothing short of lifelong obsession from which they seek no escape.
Have integrity to do what matters to you
You should have integrity to do what matters to you. Do not waste your time if it doesn’t matter.
Be yourself
You shouldn’t hijack someone else’s value system. To do so would be a violation of integrity to what matters in your life.
Listen to that little voice
Happy endings come from listening to that little voice inside your head – some call it the whisper – about what matters to you.
Plug into the cause and get the power
Whatever Builders are doing has so much meaning to them that the cause itself provides charisma and they plug into it as if it was electrical current. They are lifted up by its power.
Do what matters despite political correctness
Doing things despite the political correctness of the path is the price of admission to almost every enduring life of lasting impact.
Do what matters despite popularity
Builders cling to a personal commitment that’s so compelling to them – something so important to them that they would actually do it for free – that they must do it despite popularity.
Have passion, determination, and skill
Life takes passion, determination, and skill. You can’t skip any of those three and expect to enjoy success built to last.
Be greedy to acquire knowledge for your dream
If you should be greedy about anything, it should be about acquiring “intellectual capital” for your dream. Being your best at what you do is essential to success built to last.
Make a difference with your knowledge
When you have “earned” knowledge, you have an ethical responsibility to “invest” that capital on making a difference.
Earn opportunities through expertise
Opportunity comes from expertise, not just luck, talent, and passion.
Recognize when to move
When Builders found that striving for excellence is unreachable or joyless, they saw it as a message to move onto something else.
Have the right attitude toward difficulties
Having many difficulties perfects the being; having no difficulties ruins the being (Lao Tzu).
Make failure your friend
Many highly accomplished people described themselves as so proficient at making mistakes that, if you didn’t know better, you might think they were losers.
Harvest failure
Enduringly successful people harvest failure. They become more resolute after losing a battle they believe in because they learn from the loss. Losers call it failure; winners call it learning.
Always make new mistakes
When you make mistakes, just be sure to make new ones.
Manage your weaknesses
Builders don’t deny their flaws, nor do they allow them to paralyze action. They manage it, include it, cope with it, and don’t let it stop them.
Earn your luck through focus and knowledge
Builders earn their luck, not simply getting lucky. They earn their luck by focusing on doing work that is meaningful to them and going deep to discover relevant clues along the way. It is focus and knowledge that allows them to observe the subtleties of their path and then take advantage of serendipitous events.
Have a prepared mind
Only a prepared mind and open heart prevails.
Have clear goals
Builders use planning and goals – often big goals – to put themselves into a serendipitous position.
Have explorer mentality
Builders have explorer mentality. They have clear direction, but not the roadmap. What they seek in the long term doesn’t always turn out as expected.
Think about your relationships as long term
If you want success that lasts, then you’re better off if you think about your relationships as being built to last.
Surround yourself with “A” players
Builders spent the largest percentage of their time tracking down, surrounding themselves with, and developing the people who are “A” players.
Align your intentions, words, and actions
Always watch whether your words and actions match your intentions, and are aligned with what you are trying to do.
Get the inconsistent stuff out
Alignment requires that you get out of your life all the stuff that is inconsistent with your passions and goal. That includes people. Choose wisely.

Great words from Ravishankar/

When your heart opens up tears come, it’s natural. Let it be. It is said in scriptures that tears of love are so precious that even angels run to collect them. Even on heaven, there are no tears of love. The most wonderful thing on the planet, on earth is to have tears of love, tears of gratitude. That indicates that our life is glorious. That makes our life rich and fulfilled. Fulfillment in life is when you have tears of gratitude and that comes by luck. You can’t manufacture tears of gratitude; you can’t put glycerin and have tears of gratitude coming in. When you realize what all you have received in life, your heart opens up.
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Subject: There is no caste for the spirit

Lovers know the language of the heart-we are all lovers of God who want to unite with the spirit of the world. We all want to serve, ...see divinity in people around...

Three things are important for this:
Context (of life)
Commitment
Compassion

ravi shankar good words

How to free yourself from the grip of storms? This is the only basic problem in this universe. The first thing is to become aware of it and stop regretting it. Like waves come and go, storms in your life too will subside. No one storm can be there for ever. One storm comes and subsides, another comes and subsides and it goes on. As the storm subsides, you experience that inner cool, soft, delicate aspect of yourself. In that space of calm, all the anxiety, fear, feverishness lose their grip on you and you become yourself again. Love dawns

Ravi shankar on love and truth relationship.

There is a strange relationship between love and truth? If there is a competition between love and truth, it is the love that will win. It is the fear of losing love that makes someone tell lies to the most loved ones. They are afraid of losing their love if they tell the truth. So which is powerful? Love is powerful. And it should be that way. What is love? If you have not known, there is no way you will know. Even a single creature on this planet cannot say that it doesn’t know love. Because that is our second experience. Our first experience was pain.

Ravi shankar good thoughts.

If you recognize that you have ego, for God's sake don’t try to get rid of it. If you get rid of your ego, that itself will become the cause of a bigger ego trip. So if you find that there is ego, just keep it in your pocket. You know the only antidote for ego is being natural, or naturalness. Why do you want to get rid of your ego? Because it bothers you. More than others, your ego is bothering you. You are constrained, restrained and uncomfortable. You feel others don’t respect you or you are better than others. You compare yourself with others. So I would say, if you find that there is ego in you, let it be. We will not meddle with it. If it comes, let it come.




When your mind is calm and serene, it becomes like a laser beam. Then you get the power to bless. There is a tradition in India and China. Whenever there is a wedding or any ceremony in the house, you go to the eldest in the family and take their blessings. There is a scientific reason behind this. As you grow older, you are supposed to become more serene and contended. A contented mind has the power to bless. If you are not content, you don’t have the energy to bless, and then how can you bless someone else? When you are grateful for what life has offered you, when you have contentment within you, then you gain that ability to bless people. So serenity and contentment gives you the ability to bless others. First you become centered. If they are averse to you, so what? You be happy and then bless them that they get rid of their hatred. Often we try to correct somebody because their actions disturb us. But if your intention is to correct them because what they are doing is harming them, they get corrected.

Ravi shankar good thoughts

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: There is a story of Mullah Nasurudin. His wife was pregnant and the time of delivery had come. But the baby was not coming out. When doctor told this to Mullah Nasurudin, he ran to the market, bought a toy, and kept that toy in front of her wife. He said, “After all this is my child, so he will surely come out with greed”. Whole our life we keep on running behind things with the hope of getting something. We keep on looking for some kind of profit. How would such person experience happiness? Neither does a greedy person get happiness nor does a person who is bombarded with too many desires. The one who relaxes in his consciousness is happy. One, who is centered, experiences the true happiness. I am not saying there is no happiness in the outer world, but the happiness you get when you go within is incomparable.

The world is running in search of happiness. The body gets baked, the mind gets baked, the intellect gets deluded but still we keep on getting stuck in the same repetitive cycle. When you meet Guru, you come to know that you are the source of happiness. Then the mind calms down, and you realize that you are the one in whose search you kept on running here and there.

good words of ravi shankar.

Once you are able to see the light, you see the entire past as a dream, move on. Wake up and see the present, you will find happiness is there, unconditional happiness. Then you are happy and not dependent on others for your happiness. Happiness depends only on your mind. When the mind is free of past impressions and future cravings, happiness is there.





Don’t ask anyone if they love you – only fools ask this. Even if someone is angry, he is demonstrating love. Emotions like anger, jealousy, and greed are because of love. Love is our nature. If someone is sleeping, do you ask the person are you sleeping? If you do, then you have already woken them up!



Your very thought to strengthen the faith strengthens it. Move ahead assuming that your faith is very strong. When your intellect is purified, faith automatically gets strong.

some facts about sleep

Author of Tired But Wired, Dr Nerina Ramlakhan dispels myths about how much rest you need and suggests ways to cope with pressure.

Here's a health professional who doesn't believe it's how long you sleep, but that it's the quality of your sleep that counts.

Dr Nerina Ramlakhan, an England-based organisational consultant and physiologist, is an expert on human alertness, sleep, memory and productivity. In her book Tired But Wired, she looks at dispelling the eight hour myth and suggests that five hours of core sleep is all you need.

In an e-mail interview, Dr Ramlakhan tells us what constitutes quality sleep and suggests ways to ensure you wake up fully rested:

Why do you believe the concept of eight hour sleep is overrated?

Human beings are designed to be flexible in their sleep requirements. This is a throwback to the caveman days, when it would have been counter-survival to have absolutely needed eight hours of sleep in order to function normally.

We are designed to be able to adapt more. I place more emphasis on the quality of sleep and living life more restfully in general.

Is there a minimum amount of rest one should get each night?

Research indicates that ideally one should get around five hours of 'core' sleep and then an optional (nice to have) further three to five hours. However, the core sleep must constitute enough deep sleep and the right amount of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep.

What constitutes quality sleep?

Deep, refreshing, nourishing sleep interspersed with periods of REM sleep, which we wake up from feeling revitalised on every level -- physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

What are the five most prominent reasons that lead to sleep disorders?

Lack of rest during the day.
Poor nutrition -- sugary snacks, caffeine, stimulants and alcohol, dehydration
Too much exposure to technology -- mobile phones, computers etc
Worry and inability to let go of control.
Lack of inner safety -- this can be related to lack of spiritual practice
What are the five healthy practices one must follow to get a healthy amount of sleep?

The opposite of all of the above. Learn how to live life more restfully. Eat and drink healthy. Don't be a slave to technology. Nurture your spiritual health.

Is there a diet pattern one must follow to get sound sleep?

Always eat breakfast within 30-45 minutes of rising, try to include protein in each meal (protein is used to make the sleep hormone melatonin) and avoid eating heavily before bedtime. Have a small snack before you go to bed, like a cup of warm milk and drink at least two litres of water every day.

What is the ideal time to indulge in exercises -- like gymming, swimming, cycling? And what about heavy exercises like weight-lifting?

Exercise at any time that suits you, but not after eating a heavy meal. It is important to help you get good sleep, but you should avoid very stimulating, heavy, competitive exercises closer to bedtime -- this raises the excitation level, due to the production of stimulating hormones called endorphins.

If you exercise late, make sure you eat a moderate-sized meal within 20 minutes of exercising and practise some gentle yoga stretches or pranayama (alternate nostril breathing) before going to bed to calm the nervous system.

Is there anything such as 'correct posture' while sleeping? Some of us cannot sleep on the back, for instance.

This is very individual and there is no 'right' posture as such. Being overweight can cause snoring if you sleep on your back.How does one curb snoring?

Weight loss and exercising helps reduce snoring. Minimise the intake of alcohol, practice yoga breathing exercises (pranayama) to strengthen the respiratory airways and muscles. Being well-hydrated is also very important.

Under what circumstances do you recommend sleeping pills? What are the dos and don'ts of using them?

There may be circumstances when the patient really can't sleep and is becoming ill as a result. Sleeping tablets can help them get some rest.

In the long term they stop working and the danger is of developing tolerance towards and/or dependence upon the tablets.

Ideally, the patient and doctor need to work towards weaning the patient off the tablets, while building up his/her sleep strategies.

What advice would you give young people on how to deal with stress?

Don't try to avoid stress -- it's a normal and healthy part of life that teaches you resilience. Instead, look upon stress as a challenge and aim to strengthen your coping strategies so that you can take on anything.

These coping strategies are:

Physical: Exercise regularly and sleep well; learn how to relax when under pressure (meditation and yoga are excellent for this); minimise alcohol; don't smoke; eat healthily; drink at least two litres of water each day.
Emotional: Take time to build strong, supportive relationships; don't repress negative feelings, instead learn how to get rid of them constructively.
Mental: Learn how to switch off your brain, create healthy boundaries between work and home; don't be a slave to your mobile phone; manage your time with laser focus -- know what is important and do it first.
Spiritual: Take time out to assess your values; know what you care about and make time for it; cultivate faith and optimism even in times of adversity, meditate or pray regularly.

Good words of ravi shankar.

To begin a practice you have to put in effort. But once you are on the path, you have to relax. You won’t reach any faster if you keep running inside the train. Know that all is done for you. You don’t have to put effort. There is effort to light a candle. Once it is lit then no effort is required to pull the light out of the candle. Light is coming to you on its own. But you have to light the candle first. You have to put that much effort to switch on the lamp!

Good words of Ravi shankar

1. Enjoy the world, without getting attached to it. You have to take a deep breath in. But you can’t hold onto it. You have to let go (of the breath) to enjoy the fresh air. In life, it is the same thing. Letting go is important.

2. Be Like water. When stones are there on the path of water, what does it do? Water rises above the stones and flows. Similarly obstacles are there in life. You rise above obstacles and move through it. Have patience and flow over them.



3. People who are free, regret that they don't have discipline. They keep promising that they will become disciplined.
People who are disciplined look for the end. (Discipline is not an end in itself, it is a means.)

Look at the people who have no discipline; they are miserable. Freedom without discipline is absolute misery.
Discipline without freedom is suffocating.

Orderliness is monotonous and chaos is stressful. We have to make the discipline free and the freedom disciplined.

People who are in company all the time, they look for the comforts of solitude. People who are in solitude,
feel so lonely and want to be in company.

People who are in a cold place want to be in a warm place. People who are in a warm place love something cool.

This is the dilemma of life: Everyone is looking for perfect balance. Perfect balance is like a razor's edge.
It can only be found in the self.

There is no road to this town and there are no steps to this house.

How do you get in? Figure it all out.

Mother allegedly sold girl for family honour

New Delhi: Though many like her were killed for family honour, Arti's case is unique, or say, even worse. The 21-year-old has been married twice by her widowed mother Laxmi Devi and it was not just the honour of their family that was on her mother's mind.

The Agra girl loved Sanjay who lived in the same area and was a childhood friend. But since he belonged to a different caste, Laxmi got her married to a boy named Jagdish on March 5, 2007, against her wish.

Allegedly, she took money from Jagdish's family to marry her daughter but things took a turn for the worse when Arti returned home after spending a month with her husband, alleging torture for dowry.

She also claimed that her husband used to brutally beat her. But her mother, to her surprise, supported her and helped her to get a divorce from Jagdish.

Little did Arti know that her mother was planning to put her on sale yet again. She revolted when she came to know that her mother had set her match with another boy in Sobipura village of Firozabad district for which she got Rs 20,000.

An enraged Arti, with the help of Sanjay, wrote to the Agra Superintendent of Police, DIG and the local police station on June 18, 2010, seeking help. In her complaint, she alleged that her mother was trying to sell her off and threatening to kill her.

However, the police failed to act and Arti was finally married on June 24.

Sanjay decided to rescue his love. He claims that Arti must be rescued, as she has been forcefully married and she might take some extreme step.

Sanjay's case was taken up with Love Commando and petitions to the National Commission for Women and National Human Rights Commission are going to be filed on his behalf

Read more at: http://www.ndtv.com/article/cities/delhi-mother-allegedly-sold-girl-for-family-honour-37534?cp

Good words

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's

There is no control over the fruit of action. If the attention is only on the end result, then you can’t perform. Let us take a runner - if he starts looking behind at who is running, and not looking at the path he needs to run on, then ultimately he will lose, no matter how good the runner may be. You have to follow your own track, to complete the run whether you lose or win.
 
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's
 
We need to wake up to the power that we are made up of, that is love. Like our body is made up of amino acids, carbohydrates and protein, our spirit is made up of love. It is love that gets distorted and becomes all other negative emotions. It is wisdom which can keep love pure. Love without knowledge or wisdom is misery. Love plus wisdom is happiness. It is as simple as that.

self help.

All of us have problems in life. I don’t think any one can ever find a person without a single problem in this world. Life by itself is a sequence of problems posed in front of us from various facets of life. Most of the time we spend all our time in searching for answers and solutions for our life’s own problems. In this entire process the most important person involved is “YOU”. Only simple solution for all your life’s problem is YOU. Hence the best way to make your life wonderful is to take good care of you.


Yes, it’s all about “You”.

What you can do for YOU:

– Take quality time off from your daily chores to give yourself.

– Enjoy your own company.
– Be happy and feel good about you.

– Treat yourself with great love and utmost respect.

– Feel you are more worthy and most deserving.

– Look for the positive and good qualities in yourself.
– Focus on these great qualities you love about yourself.



– Have a great belief in your own abilities.

– Have a positive regard and respect for yourself.
– Even kiss yourself often to appreciate yourself.

You are the designer of your destiny. You are the director of your own movie called life. You are the one and only authority having complete control over your life’s choices. So, better take good care of yourself.


Ultimately it’s all about “You”. i.e YOU, YOU and YOU

Opportunity knocks only once.

Opportunities are always plenty in this vast world, but how many of us are ready to grab that in our life…? At least how many of us are aware of the opportunities we come across in our lives…?

Family and society in which we are born are a chance given to us by creation, but what we become in life is a choice left for us. Chance is something decided upon us, which is beyond our control. Choice is something that we can decide for us, which is completely in our hands to choose. Many of us think that our life is predestined and nothing can be done beyond that.

We have all said at some point of time in our life or often hear people saying:

“It’s all fate”, “Luck is not in my side”, “According to my horoscope”, “It’s bad time for me”

Yes, it is going to be really bad time until we wake up and look for opportunities in life.

Opportunity knocks our door only once. That single moment in our life comes only once and never returns. We may end up getting similar opportunities later on in time, but the one that came will never come again.

A young man wished to marry the farmer’s beautiful daughter. He went to the farmer to ask his permission. The farmer looked at him and said, “Son, go stand out in that field. I’m going to release three bulls, one at a time. If you can catch the tail of any one of the three bulls, you can marry my daughter.”


The young man stood in the field awaiting the first bull. The barn door opened and out came the biggest, meanest looking bull he had ever seen. He decided that one of the next bulls had to be a better choice than this one, so he ran over to the side and let the bull pass through.

The barn door opened again. He had never seen anything so big and fierce in his life. It stood pawing the ground, it eyed him. Whatever the next bull was like, it had to be a better choice than this one he thought. He ran to the fence and let the bull pass through.

The door opened a third time. A smile came across his face. This was the weakest bull he had ever seen. This one was his bull, he said to himself. As the bull came running by, he positioned himself just right and jumped at just the exact moment. He threw his hands to grab…..But alas…. The bull had no tail.

There are three kinds of people in this world: First, the ones who make things happen. Second, the ones who see things happen. Third, the ones who wonder what happened?


If we are a kind of person who is attentive to things around us, I am sure we could readily recognize that. If we are a kind of person who is keen on achieving great things in life, I am sure we would definitely make the best used of opportunities given.

An individual may possibly have number of abilities and talents, yet he or she could be a miserable failure. Unless the person is aware of her abilities and has the courage to act upon it, she is going to be a failure. Great people knew their abilities and make the best use of at least one of their talents, excel in that, reach greater heights.

Great men and women don’t wait for the right opportunity to come at their door steps; instead they act upon to create the opportunity in order to move ahead in their path of great achievements. These are the people those who make things happen. They don’t sit and wait for the opportunities to come to them; instead they desperately go in search of opportunities and put in all their efforts to make things happen.

Michael Dell says, “Don’t spend so much time trying to choose the perfect opportunity, that you miss the right opportunity. Whether you’ve found your calling, or if you’re still searching, passion should be the fire that drives your life’s work.”

Unless you are planning suicide, there is no better time then right now to start doing what you have been thinking about doing for far too long. The key is to listen to your heart and let it carry you in the direction of your dreams. Just open your mind to different possibilities, different ways of examining an object, a problem or a challenge, and it can provide you with many inspirations and fresh ideas.
Another key point is to act diligently upon the opportunity grabbed. Many of us though get right opportunity; fail to make the best use of it. We end up doing mundane activities those are useful neither for ourselves nor for others. This is because our mind is tied up with petty little things that will give quick gratification. Basic tendency of human mind is to look for quick results at present and immediate pleasure now rather than long term satisfaction at later stage. We should constantly tame our mind to seek permanent happiness in life and not look for instant pleasure. We should constantly focus our thoughts and efforts towards vital and precious activities that will take us forward in our path of success.

With the ability to identify right opportunity, attitude to honestly work on it and sincerity to make the best use of it; making great things happen is an absolute possibility in this world.

Let’s make great things happen.

“When we wake up to the choices given to us,

smartly catch hold of them,

diligently work on them with sincere efforts,

surely we will achieve great things in this world.”

Advantages to Being Single

There can be many advantages to being single if you just stop and think about it. It’s easy to say that there are no advantages to being single if all we see are the negatives. So let’s look at some of the positive aspects of being single.

• More freedom and independence

Being single means you have more freedom. You answer to no one. If you’re single, you don’t have to let anyone know when you decide to go somewhere. It allows for more spontaneity in your life. If you want to take a weekend road trip, you can make that decision on the spur of the moment. Being single allows you to be your own person and really just do as you please. If you want to sit on the couch in an old T-shirt and shorts while munching on Doritos, no one will give you any flack for doing so. Being single allows you to make your own choices. (Guys, you wouldn’t have to worry about missing Monday Night Football to watch the Lifetime Movie of the Week.) Especially for men, being single forces you to do things for yourself, like cooking and cleaning. Being skilled at different things makes you a more complete, independent, well-rounded person, which is a great quality to have, and one that will be noticed if you decide to seek a relationship later on.

• More control over your time

We live in a busy society. You probably hear people complaining that they never have enough time, all while scribbling their plans for the next three months into their Palm Pilot. These people probably aren’t single. When you’re single, you may have more time for yourself and things that you like to do. You can set your own schedule. Being single may give you more time for hobbies, relaxation, being with friends and family, and so on. Being single gives you more time to better yourself. You can use the extra time to work on your career, volunteer in your community, or take classes for job advancement or just for personal enrichment. Relationships and marriages especially require a significant amount of time, as anyone who is married or in a relationship will tell you. So, doesn’t it stand to reason to take advantage of any extra time while you still have it?

• More control over your money

In addition to time, relationships also require money, and a lot of it. Being single gives you full financial freedom. You will be in control of where every rupee you spend goes. Guys, think of the money you’ll save by not having to pay for overpriced dinners and movies, and buying all kinds of presents for birthdays, Valentine's Day, Christmas, and the 11-week anniversary of the third date. Being single allows you to spend money that you have on yourself with no guilt. Men, that means you can get that 42-inch high definition flat screen TV that you saw at Best Buy without getting an earful later. Ladies, you can treat yourself to that piece of jewelry or new outfit without having to use the Jaws of Life to get the Visa card out of a husband’s wallet. (Note that being single is not an excuse to be irresponsible with your money. Single or not, you still need to make responsible financial decisions.) Being single may also make it easier to plan for saving money for the future and for unforeseen circumstances.

• Not having to tolerate another’s annoying habits

Let’s face it – all of us have quirks about ourselves that someone else finds annoying. Being single frees you from this issue. A single person doesn’t have to listen to someone snore all night while hogging the blankets. Guys, you wouldn’t have to worry about finding a fuzzy toilet seat cover or pink shower curtain in your bathroom. Ladies, you wouldn’t have to constantly nag someone to take care of the dishes piling up in the sink or take out the trash. Being single allows you to give your patience a rest and live in a non-frustrating environment. The only disgusting habits you’ll have to put up with are your own.

• No emotional roller coaster rides

Being single allows you to stabilize your emotions. When a person is in a relationship, especially when it is just starting, your emotions can go completely out of whack. Your mind can go a mile a minute constantly thinking things like, “Does s/he still like me?”, “Did I say the right thing?”, “What should I do now?”, “When should I call next?” The list goes on and on. It’s enough to make a person go bonkers with all these thoughts running rampant. In addition, being single means that you won’t have to worry about going through a heart-wrenching breakup. Once you’ve become a successful single, you will appreciate being able to be emotionally relaxed.
• Ability to become aware of who you are

Being single can give you a deeper awareness of who you really are - not someone as defined by a relationship. During the initial stages of a relationship, you try to make yourself look as good as possible to impress the other person, and often find yourself saying and doing things you normally wouldn’t do. Being single allows you to be yourself and develop who you really are.

These are just some of the advantages to being single. As you progress into becoming a successful single, you will find more and more advantages. Once you move past the “grass is greener on the other side” way of thinking, you will then be ready to make the most of being single.

Some of countries are very romantic by name.

H.O.L.L.A.N. D = Hope Our Love Lasts And Never Dies.




I.T.A.L.Y. I = I Trust And Love You.



L.I.B.Y.A. = Love Is Beautiful; You Also.



F.R.A.N.C.E. = Friendships Remain And Never Can End.

C.H.I.N.A. Come Here.. I Need Affection.



B.U.R.M.A. = Between Us, Remember Me Always.



N.E.P.A.L. = Never Ever Part As Lovers.



I.N.D.I.A. = I Nearly Died In Adoration.



K.E.N.Y.A = Keep Everything Nice, Yet Arousing.



C.A.N.A.D.A. = Cute And Naughty Action that developed into attraction



K.O.R.E.A. = Keep Optimistic Regardless of Every adversity.



E.G.Y.P.T. = Everything’s Great, You Pretty Thing!!



M.A.N.I.L.A. = May All Nights Inspire Love Always.



P.E.R..U. = Phorget (Forget) Everyone… Remember Us.



T.H.A.I.L.A. N.D. = Totally Happy. Always In Love And Never Dull

Gandharva Vivaha - ancient Hindu Marriage.

The Gandharva Vivaha (the marriage of the celestials) involves simple exchange of garlands . We find references of this type of wedding in Hindu mythologies and epics. This is equivalent of eloping in today`s world, and couples whose union is not blessed by families seek refuge in this custom.

Gandharva marriage is a form of love marriage. Here the bride and the bridegroom get married secretly without the knowledge of their parents. This marriage reminds us of the love affair of Sakuntala and Dusyanta.

Mutual love and consent between bride and the bridegroom, are the only conditions to bring about such a marriage. It is a voluntary union of a maiden with her lover. Parents and kinsmen have nothing to do in such marriages. Kamasutra regards this marriage as an ideal one. Hindu mythology literature abounds in such type of marriages. For example that of Dushyant and Shakuntala; Daksheya and Prajapati, Bhima with  Hidimba; Kamdeva and Rati, Kach and Devyani. The two get married prior to informing anyone. It takes place either in a temple depending on their religion. It usually breaks up a family.

Where there is no Yajna and presence of any other person except girl and the boy. Both agreed to marry and continue family life.

When a marriage breaks down and one partner gets custody of the children, it leads to a lot of heartburn for the other parent. He/she (in most cases, it’s the father), gets relegated to weekend-visits at best. Such parents become the forgotten victims of divorce, who end up struggling to stay part of their children’s lives.

Anxiety

The biggest cause for worry among the parent who loses the custody battle is how to continue playing an important part in their child’s life. When you don’t see your kids every day, it can be tough to maintain a strong connection. But not living under the same roof doesn’t have to mean being less involved — there are lots of things you can do to be an active mom or dad.
Be civil with your ex

As a separated parent, you just have to adopt a different mindset. Your marriage might have been a disaster and you might have had an acrimonious divorce. But whatever you feel about the mother or father of your children, having an amicable parenting relationship goes a long way to help you stay part of their lives. And even if there are resentments, never air them in front of the child.

Get involved in the day-to-day

Be involved in the normal everyday stuff. Talk to the kids about their friends and interests, go to parent/teacher events and regularly ask the school for details of your kids’ progress. Make sure you keep yourself in the loop about the happenings in your child’s life. Try and keep things as normal as possible, just like they were before you got divorced.

Timetable some ‘unspecial’ time


Treating your kids is great, but being a parent isn’t just about fun times. It’s just as important to sit down to eat together or watch TV — and to be there when discipline is needed.

Show you’re still a family

Regardless of how the relationship ended, you’re still a family. It’s important that children see both of you in parenting roles. Have common goals for your child. Most importantly, let the child know that your idea of bringing him/her up matches that of your ex-spouse.

http://www.mumbaimirror.com/article/9/201007062010070602030784273ae74a4/Parttime-parenting-tips.html

Bachelors Saturday with sachin

The last saturday with sachin as bachelor in mumbai went well. When i look back it looks time has gone very fast. When first time i landed in his office there was sohini(chandigarh girl) and ajit( mumbai boy) as bussiness associates. When I opened the demat account I litterally had no idea on what stock is. The association grew day by day. He became one of my confident circle. I remember me, sachin and sonachandi(friend's nick name) enjoying evening by having jelebi at the circle. I remember working with sachin on excel sheets for stocks. Infact for sometime i got help from outside on sheets. My success in stocks goes only and only to sachin. I remember sachin suddenly going out and getting sweets when i had come back into life for second time. He was happy said dada i am happy for you when coming down. The account opening at that time he was there and did all by himself. When i was in professional pressure at Microsoft he was the shoulder on which i used to park for peace. I remember sleeping in his office we used to discuss so many things. I appreciate his business plans. The vishnuvallabh services which is now running with 3 employees has sachin saying dada let us create employment. yesterday i was telling him that i am putting 2 more employees to take it to 5. I shared him my plan to start 'garuda agro services' in december in which sachin wants to take part. The dream of 'prasim' ambulance services has great backing from him. Almost all the business plans discussed for that have been put in place. the sugar cane juices with sachin is something worth remembering. the Nerul temple visits, specially one with Ram is very new in memory. sachin likes the prasadam of nerul temple. When i was down after second loss , i still remember sachin going that extra mile saying dada will you marry this homeopathy doctor. He tried his level best to get me back to normal life, then he brought some alliance of stock person but somehow i was not ready to accept things of sincere trial from him. Regarding vishnu there is only one true person who backed me all these years otherwise i would have collapsed long back. He is rock solid behind me in this issue of vishnu. The mango festival we celebrated at his office is worth remembering with the title 'tension matleh bhai thu tension math leh'. The foods at girija hotel, pav bajjis, lassis, icecreams the list goes on.
The evening walk into garden, the new park morning walk the list goes on.

I wish you a happy married life sachin and wish that you be blessed with a person who can understand you in and out and be cooperative. You are in a high tension business i hope the person will understand an cooperate to full. May god bless you with lovely kids, great extended family, a wife who can understand your heart. Good to see that now you have home made food and free from hotels. My blessings as a elder brother are always with you. I was touched when you had put hand on shoulder few days back after i came from operation and said 'DADA apne mujhe bathaya nahi'. The reason I want you to go to patna in jovial mood not with the thing otherwise.

May lord vishnu bless you with all health, wealth and peace of mind.

Good wishes to Dhoni.

The successful indian cricket team captain got married to his friend at a private closed affair. Media should understand its limits.I wish the indian team a happy married life. Hope sakshi will be a cooperative wife so that he can deliver success more consistently. Let the couple be blessed with good life and kids and enjoy the life which has meaning.

Good video for warring couples to watch and understand value of life.

http://www.ndtv.com/news/videos/video_player.php?id=150514

Good words

You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of the work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction.

-Lord Krishna


• One who has control over the mind is tranquil in heat and cold, in pleasure and pain, and in honor and dishonor; and is ever steadfast with the Supreme Self

-Bhagavad Gita

• You have the right to work, but never to the fruit of the work. You should never engage in action for the sake of reward, nor should you long for inaction.

-Lord Krishna


• They are forever free who renounce all selfish desires and break away from the ego-cage of "I", "me", and "mine" to be united with the Lord. This is the supreme state. Attain to this, and pass from death to immortality.

-Bhagavad Gita

• It is better to do one's own duty, however defective it may be, than to follow the duty of another, however well one may perform it. He who does his duty as his own nature reveals it, never sins.
-Bhagavad Gita

• One, who earns leadership of the masses by working ceaselessly for people's welfare finally realizes that he has been rewarded with many added advantage.

-Atharva Veda



• There is neither this world nor the world beyond nor happiness for the one who doubts

-Bhagavad Gita



• There is nothing lost or wasted in this life.

-Bhagavad Gita

• Death is as sure for that which is born, as birth is for that which is dead. Therefore grieve not for what is inevitable.

-Bhagavad Gita



• Little by little, through patience and repeated effort, the mind will become stilled in the Self.



-Bhagavad Gita



• Those who are motivated only by desire for the fruits of action are miserable, for they are constantly anxious about the results of what they do.



-Bhagavad Gita



• Better indeed is knowledge than mechanical practice. Better than knowledge is meditation. But better still is surrender of attachment to results, because there follows immediate peace.



-Bhagavad Gita



• It takes time for a fruit to mature and acquire sweetness and become eatable; time is a prime factor for most good fortunes.”



-Atharva Veda



• Hell has three gates: lust, anger, and greed.



-Bhagavad Gita



• Make every act an offering to me; regard me as your only protector. Relying on interior discipline, meditate on me always. Remembering me, you shall overcome all difficulties through my grace. But if you will not heed me in your self-will, nothing will avail.



-Lord Krishna



• I look upon all creatures equally; none are less dear to me and none more dear. But those who worship me with love live in me, and I come to life in them.



-Lord Krishna





• One who has control over the mind is tranquil in heat and cold, in pleasure and pain, and in honor and dishonor; and is ever steadfast with the Supreme Self



-Bhagavad Gita



• The mind acts like an enemy for those who do not control it and as a friend for those who attain control over it.



-Bhagavad Gita



• There has never been a time when you and I have not existed, nor will there be a time when we will cease to exist. As the same person inhabits the body through childhood, youth, and old age, so too at the time of death he attains another body. The wise are not deluded by these changes.



-Bhagavad Gita

Geetasaar

Bhagavad Gita is the most unusual and the one of the most important scriptures. Its is the divine voice of the God. One can be spiritually benefited by mediating and contemplating on the Gita. One's all doubts are removed and by following it, one can attain Him. This Celestial Song was sung by Lord Krishna.


Whatever happened, it happened for good.


Whatever is happening, is happening for good.


Whatever that will happen, it will be for good.


What have you lost for which you cry?


What did you bring with you, which you have lost?


What did you produce, which has destroyed?


You did not bring anything when you were born.


Whatever you have, you have received from Him.


Whatever you will give, you will give to Him.


You came empty handed and


you will go the same way.


Whatever is yours today was somebody else’s yesterday and will be somebody else’s tomorrow.


Change is the law of the universe.

The false self, or ego, leads to destructive thinking and acting. Learning to overcome your ego and to live from your true self is critical for spiritual transformation.

As a child of younger than 7 years, you don't have an awareness or image of yourself (self-reflexive consciousness) yet. This type of awareness that develops mainly in the first half of life is your false self or small self as many have come to refer to it. At that stage, you're just who you are, even if that doesn't really present a pretty picture. (Do you know any mature toddlers who care a lot about presenting themselves well? Definitely not mine!)

In your first couple of years you don't pretend to be something other than exactly who you are. You don't fret about your dirty clothes or runny nose. You just live from your true self.




But, over time you start developing a mental picture of yourself, your false self. Now, you start caring about what others think of you, how you are perceived in their eyes. This causes problems. It's typical of people living only from their ego to need excessive recognition, and to need to be perceived as someone who contributes something meaningful and significant to society.

Or just someone who plays the game of life very well, and makes lot's of money...

If someone now disappoints you, cheats you, or treats you contrary to your liking, it's devastating. And you can't do anything with the pain that's caused except sending it back out in the form of some kind of revenge or hatred. The behavior that normally follows is destructive, and not quite what Jesus had in mind for someone living in the new reality He came to announce. One will unhesitatingly damage relationships and act very immature just to defend his/her image, or ego. The problems such behavior causes in society are obvious and there have even been a good couple of wars fought simply to protect a leader's pride.
I see the true aim of all healthy religion and spirituality as transformation. You don't have to belong to a certain group, or agree with certain doctrines to be mature... You need to be transformed. And the only thing that truly transforms is the awareness of God's presence within you.
And after such transformation, you'll be able to transform pain. If events that would cause an immature person to retaliate come up, you can react in a way that doesn't reflect, or 'bounce-back' the pain.


It's almost like all painful things stop with you. You don't hurt others because they hurt you. You don't spread hurtful, untrue, or character-destroying stories. You start seeing pain around you and devise plans to alleviate it.
So, to be truly mature, you have to live out of your true self. You need to overcome your ego, and the boundaries of your life that it so violently defends. You need to life from your core... your innermost being.

Contemplative prayer is highly necessary if you are to have any hope of achieving freedom from your ego, or false self. It's the only discipline I know of that really helps you overcome the ego, and the unhealthy ways of thinking caused by this small self

Honour Your Protectors

Some people in your life are your protectors warding off the ones that will only take from you and destroy your talent. Honour your protectors. These invaders, though they like hanging around you, are on a different energy wave or matrix from your protectors and will avoid coming close to you once your protectors are around.
Don't try to change your protectors for it is their natural essence that protects you, creating a special link between you and them.
We all need each other in some way or the other. Some are better suited to together than some because of the unique energy waves between them. When you are around some people, you may feel a sense of what we sometimes call 'bad vibes'. What you are feeling is their energy wave which is the level of consciousness they're, and it's obviously not along the same path as your own.
We can feel each other because we are all interconnected and when a person is heading in the direction of love; you could sense that, if they are heading in the other direction, we could sense that as well. How well we pick up on this inner knowing is in direct relation to how in tuned we are internally. However, we don't condemn or be critical of others just because they are not on the same energy wave as we are. We bless them in our hearts and let them be.
How do you recognize your protectors?
1) You feel safe around them
When you are with your protectors you know that you are safe. They'll never let anything happen to you. They'll come to your rescue whenever you need them.
2) They're supportive of you
Your protectors will support you in achieving your goals. They will encourage you to be the best you can be and give you the freedom to do so.
3) They'll take a stand and defend you
No matter what you face; they will stand and defend you even in the face of danger, if necessary. They're not afraid to open their mouth and speak up on your behalf and they really don't care what other people think of them either.
4) You can be yourself and thrive in their presence
You don't have to pretend around your protectors. They already know who you are and like you. They see your weaknesses and that's why they're there; to protect and help you.
5) They grow right alongside you
As you grow; your protectors continue to grow alongside you. They thrive in the same environment, like our broccoli and green onions grow together, they both live together in harmony.
6) Your so-called friends don't stick around when they're with you
When you are with your protectors, your so-call friends disappear. Your protectors' natural essence wards off your predators.
7) They're not trying to change you
Your protectors accept you for who you are and allow you to be who you are. Imagine in a garden the green onions (which acts as a protection for the broccoli because of their strong essence) saying to the broccoli, "Listen up here, I'm on the scene now and, you know something, see these caterpillars that are biting up on you, if you just be like me maybe they'll stop bugging you." Funny, huh? That's what we put each other through at times. Be 'the broccoli' that you are and let your protectors, 'green onions', be who they are and let love and togetherness prevail.

Changing your life may seem like an overwhelming frustrating process. But it doesn't have to be if you're given simple doable step-by-step strategies that will get you from where you are to where you want to be and experience a transformed life

Effective ways to help a friend.

Life is so rich in offering us a vast array of situations and circumstances, some more challenging than others. When you are in the position to comfort a friend in crisis, you have been given a wonderful opportunity to express your love and caring.
For some of us, supporting people going through a difficult time can be confusing or awkward, no matter how much we want to be present for them. Below are some suggestions that might be helpful. Not all of these will apply to every situation, so use them only if they feel appropriate.

1. Make contact. When you find out that someone you know is going through a crisis and you want to support them, make contact. Call, email, offer to visit. People in crisis often feel alone and alienated and appreciate when others reach out to them.
2. Listen to the story. At the beginning stages of a crisis, everyone needs to tell their story in their own time. Telling the story is one of the cornerstones of psychological treatment for trauma. The job of the friend is to listen and communicate concern and understanding.
3. Be there emotionally. Think of yourself as a vessel filled with love and support that you are offering out. Keep your personal stories to yourself, along with any judgments or criticisms you might have.
4. You probably don't know how your friend feels. Be careful about saying, "I know how you feel." When people are reeling from their own feelings, they think that you can't possibly understand their experience.
5. Don't push. People in crisis can feel completely out of control and can benefit from making choices. Rather than insisting on a course of action, offer your friend some options to select from. Even simple ones matter, as in, "Would you like to go now or later?"
6. Help make decisions. On the other hand, you might notice that your friend is easily confused and has difficulty making even small decisions. In this case, you might consider stepping in and offering guidance, as in, "I think we should....now. Let's do it together."
7. Offer practical help. Suggest tasks you might take on such as making calls or doing errands. Be observant to see what is needed, and ask if you can assist. Especially focus on what children involved may require.
8. Bring food. Eating is one of the first things to go in a crisis (along with sleep). Have nourishing food available so that your friend is more likely to continue eating regular meals.
9. Know that emotion comes in waves. There are no rules about how people should react to crises. Your friend may feel numb, intensely emotional, or anywhere in between. All reactions are valid and understandable, even laughter. Emotions often appear in waves - they come and go. Be there as a support no matter what your friend is feeling.
10. Let your friend cry. Recognize if you are uncomfortable with the level of your friend's emotions. Take a breath, and fill your vessel with love and support. Try to be with the emotions without stifling them. Your friend will eventually stop crying.
11. Be a buddy. I once read a book on breakups that suggested recruiting a "breakup buddy," a friend who could be called on night and day in those difficult first days. Offer to be a support buddy to your friend, someone who she or he can call any time.
12. Be aware of your triggers. A crisis is an emotional and stressful time for everyone, making it more likely that people will push each other's buttons. If you feel irritated, take a breath and try not to react. Don't add fuel to the fire.
13. Get professional help on board. If your friend is suicidal or highly irrational, don't hesitate to suggest professional help. Every community has a suicide hotline, and 911 is always available.
14. Rally support. If you know other people who might like to support your friend, contact them to let them know what happened.
15. "You will get through this." A person in crisis may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the event first happens. Hold your friend's hand, look her in the eye, and say, "You will get through this," or, "This too shall pass." She may not believe you at the time, but it will be helpful to hear.
16. Be patient. Your friend may need to tell the story many times or may still be emotional weeks after you would have begun to move on. Respect that everyone's process is unique. However, if, after giving it plenty of time, you think your friend is stuck in the trauma, you might gently ask, "How do you see yourself getting through this?"
17. Encourage basic functioning. In the first few days of a crisis, even the most minimal functioning may seem impossible. Be very gentle in encouraging your friend to take a shower, get dressed, eat regular meals, and take a short walk. If you know of self-care activities your friend enjoys, such as yoga or working out, suggest these as well, being careful not to sound pushy.
18. Know that nighttime is often the hardest time for people in crisis. Call in the evening to check in. Communicate empathy regarding how difficult a time it is.
19. Don't support drinking too much or other reckless behavior. Some people may want a few drinks, or more, when going through a difficult time. You can be the voice of wisdom by suggesting moderation.
20. Take care of yourself. People can easily become depleted while supporting someone through a crisis. Pay some attention to your own needs so you can be replenished. Take breaks, breathe, and get support for yourself.
21. Check in over time. Often, at the beginning of a crisis, many people are available to help and support. Over time, people tend to forget and return to the rhythm of their lives. Keep your friend in the forefront of your mind, and check in in the weeks or months ahead.

Remember that a crisis is a tender time for everyone. If your intention to support is clear, but you don't get it completely right, be very forgiving of yourself. Showing up with a loving, open heart is by far the best medicine.