Friday, June 26, 2009

Cement & Cement

After a long time I feel like wearing my favorite dress which i wear when i face challenges. I faced most of challenges without taking its support. But now its time to get back to cement pant and cement shirt. Let me test it also.

cheers
psn

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Lost Dream - Fate wins against me.

Today 25th june of 2009, I had ultimately decided to accept the lost dream. I was a warrior to the core fighting with the fate and questioning it always. I had a dream, a dream of having kid and having time with kid. Holding the kid's hand and help him walk. Take him on shoulder and lap him so that he sleeps. Teach him A,B,C,D etc. Teach him numbers. Run before the three tyre cycle. Buy clothes to him every month. Buy sound making and lighting shoes for him. comb him properly though i rarely comb. Eat papad sharing with him. snacks with him. sleep with him on the chest. take him to temple and put tilak on him. to dress him as little Krishna. Bring joys in home. I dont know how many thoughts i have like this if i keep on putting on paper.d watch tv with him and dance. Go to parks to play the ball with him. countless dreams.

But today all of them have come to an end. I have accepted that I cannot make it come true. I tried sincere every time but result was always against me. I have come to a stage from where making a come back is no more possible. In a over one can try to hit 36 runs. but when target crosses more than 72 no bowler will bowl so many no balls to make it happen. So I have decided to bury this dream. Its a loss which i cannot repair by any way. First time I felt of having no more road ahead. So this dream is closed once for all.

I dont have words to type anymore.

I wish lord vishnu bless my friends and others that this day should never come in anybodies life.

Regards
PSN Kumar

Monday, June 22, 2009

The effect of fatherless family.

When a father is absent, he sets the entire family unit back many, many years. All the children miss out on first-hand leadership, sacrificial love, and what being a caretaker and a protector is all about. The children's lives are incomplete, even if they are good kids that do all of the right things. The father's role cannot be duplicated nor can the mother replace the father in their lives...although many of them do a valiant job at cross-training. Many boys are fatherless because of negligence of the father. Many fathers believe after the marriage is over, so is child rearing. They are far less than the sperm donor they have become.

How can a so-called father handle such a precious relationship so carelessly? How can they not know that from the time they take their first breath until he takes his last breath, he is supposed to be a daddy? When a father abandons his children, for all intended purposes he has disowned them. It's a hate that can't be matched and it hurts to the bone. Some children never recover, some carry this burden of 'worthlessness' or 'not being good enough' all of their lives.

But it's the son where the most damage is done. His father is as much if not more so apart of his makeup as his mother...and mommas role in his life is just as important...but it's a much different role. A son needs the uniqueness of a 'good daddy', one that will impose his will on his son in times of rebellion, disobedience and defiance. A son needs a 'good daddy' in good times as well...for support and to just share with.
Many of those sons are always looking back, they just can't wipe away the haunting memory of a father that just didn't want them. Having a father they have never been able to count on is a recurring nightmare over and over again. Many boys are in a daze because of the emotional scars. Some will be torched souls for the rest of their natural lives because of their father's indifference and inability to really love them. Some just want to escape to somewhere, anywhere else, but they can't leave, there is nowhere to go.

Even though they go on without him, the pain just won't go away, they're always licking their wounds; they're just shattered. Sometimes, they fool a bunch of folk around them, but no one can hide from what's in their heart. For many, their world will never be right-side-up, so they just give their lives away, all because of fathers that didn't care. It's the disconnect that burdens the son down, they need that connection with his father. They will readily forgive and forget; they will even accept a token love, just hoping to relieve the pain, if not heal the heart.

Because of a fatherless up bringing, sometimes a son feels he has to be a leader, protector, and a provider for the family. He tends to try and grow-up too fast trying to be the 'man of the house'. In reality he is too young for such responsibilities. But he has to help his mom out by doing whatever he can, which can lead to doing the wrong things. When a father is absent his son can develop such reckless habits and miss out on the real value of life. Without a father there to lead, guide and direct his son, trouble can come in a hurry. More times than not, a life of crime will follow. Not always the crimes that sends a youngster to juvenile, a lot of the time it's the petty stuff they get away with. But these petty crimes plant the seed that can become a lifestyle later on. He may even try to fit-in with the wrong crowd. Life is tough as it is, but it can teach a young boy some hard lessons real fast or destroy him before his life even gets started...without a 'good father'.
Because he has no live-in example, he doesn't have proper grooming or know how. He doesn't know how to respond to trouble properly a lot of times. All of mommas warnings seem to fall on deaf ears. In a crisis, emotions can get the best of him. He doesn't know that emotional responses can make a situation a lot worse. All he knows is he has to do something. He doesn't have time to think and many times end up doing more harm than good. But he had more time than he thought. But how could he know? Hmmm

And some are fatherless for other reasons. The father may be deceased or incarcerated. Others are the product of unwed parents, where a live-in dad was never an option in the first place. Nevertheless the boy's life doesn't get off to the good start that it would if a 'good father was in
the home'. Sometimes a biological father can be in the home, but his lifestyle has the same negative effect as a boy that is fatherless. And sometimes it's a lot worse. For many of the fathers themselves have not grownup and matured for one reason or another; many are poor leaders, sub-par providers and many mistake abuse (verbal and physical) for discipline. They do more harm than good because of misplace priority and stunted growth in the journey of life. Other times there is a step-dad in the home and many are wonderful fathers. But many are not. Some stepfathers have no use for children that are not their own and the stepchildren are mistreated...sometimes even openly.

Despair not. A bad start does not cement their doom. An ideal home has a 'good dad', but the reality is that all simply do not, probably most do not. But many young boys go on to be fine men and very 'good fathers' themselves. They are more than smooth talkers, their 'love' cuts to the core and does not cut corners. It's the kind of love that put milk and bread on the table. It's the kind of love that doesn't takes their own children's lunch money nor allows them to come home to an empty dinner table. It's the kind of love that doesn't breaks their heart time after time.

Somehow, they figured out that love is more than saying "I love you." They know their love is not suppose to hurt those that they love. Somehow they were taught or learned that true love makes a daddy provide for, protect and defend his children from; true love does and true love gives. They understand that their children don't really want a lot. They only want daddy to give them something every once in awhile, but most of all they just want daddy...to love them. How did they figured out what some daddy's never figure out in a lifetime? They understand why their dad never got it. They understand it's the little things that takes a relationship from nothing to good and from good to special.

Hope every kid has a fathers love in this world I remain.

May lord vishnu bless us all.

P.S.N.KUMAR

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Fathers day

Today is fathers day. I dont know why it will not receive the same coverage as mothers day. is it that father the most useless thing on the surface of the earth. For me I had been fighting for my son from years i dont know. The mahabharath war ended in 18 days for me its already years and years. Judiciary is very bad. If you have to fight against a person who is in police it is impossible let whatever anybody say. Added to that if that family has person from judical connections it is game over. But still I am fighting. I myself dont know my fate. Nobody to support, this lonely fight is going on and i am also becoming weak. I should get some energy from somewhere to fight it till end. Friends all your love all these years has been helping me, please keep it on going so that i will fight for justice.

May lord vishnu bless u all.

PSN

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Karna

Factors that contributed towards Karna's death

1 The first and foremost contributor towards Karna's death was Sage Durvasa himself. While blessing Kunti with a mantra by which she could call upon any god of her choice, he did not tell her the consequence of this incantation. Thus, Kunti calls Surya without being aware of the consequence of the Mantra much before her marriage, panics and subsequently abandons the baby. His upbringing by the charioteer Adiratha denies Karna the recognition of a Kshatriya. It was Karna, not Yudhishtira or Duryodana, who was the true heir to the throne of Hastinapur, but this was not realized as his birth was kept secret.

2 Lord Indra who, in the form of a scorpion

3 When it stings Karna's thigh, angers guru Parasurama, who curses Karna for lying about his caste.

4 The curse of a Brahmin who owned a cow

5 The curse of Bhoomadevi

6 The giving away of his Kavacha and Kundala as alms to Lord Indra, this time disguised as a beggar, because of his extremely generous nature

7 Invoking the Shakti weapon on Gatothkacha

8 Not using the "Nagastra" for the second time in accordance with his second promise to mother Kunti

9 His two promises to mother Kunti

10 Shalya, who dampens Karna's confidence and moral spirit by stating many facts about the Pandavas strength on the seventeenth day of the battle.

11 When Karna comes to know that Pandavas were his brothers by Krishna just before the beginning of the Mahabharath war, then all his hatred towards all Pandavas vanishes. But, to be loyal to Duryodana, Karna decides to fight against Arjuna in the war. On the other hand, none of the Pandavas were aware that Karna was their brother until after Karna's demise

12 Abhimanyu's death

13 Draupadi's insult

14 Lord Krishna, by exhorting Arjun to kill Karna when he was trying to push his chariot out of the mud

15 Bhishma, by declining to accept Karna as a member of the Kaurava army while Bhishma was general

16 Drona, by declining to accept him as a student

17 By the Sun which went down on 17th day of the battle when he had a chance to kill Arjun

18 Arjun with divine weapon

19 Kripacharya making him feel weak when he fights Arjun

20 Lord Indra giving Arjun divine weapons

21 Vishwakarma's gandhiva

22 Lord Shiva's pashupastra

23 Ghandhari doesn't give blessings
.

Various curses imparted to Karna
Karna was cursed by his guru Bhagvan Parashurama, a Brahmin and the Earth goddess as described below:

As Karna's training came to completion, Parashurama learned the truth about Karna's origin. One afternoon, he requested Karna to bring a pillow for him to sleep on in a tree's shade. Karna instead offered his teacher his lap. While Parashurama was asleep, a scorpion stung Karna's thigh. Despite the excruciating pain, Karna did not move so as to not disturb his Guru's sleep. As the scorpion bored deeper into Karna's thigh, the wound began to bleed. Parashurama was woken up by the blood from Karna's thigh. He deduced at once that Karna was a Kshatriya and not a Brahmin, as only a Kshatriya would possess the ability to withstand such pain with high patience. Thus, Parashurama, who had sworn vengeance against all Kshatriyas, concluded that Karna lied about being a Brahmin in order to learn from him. So, he cursed Karna that his martial skill including the use of Brahmastra would desert him when he needed them most. This in turn meant that Karna will forget all that he had learnt from Parashurama during his hour of crisis. Karna, who was himself unaware of his royal lineage, pleaded with his Guru that any student in his place would have acted the same way. While he regretted cursing Karna in a moment of anger, Parashurama's curse was irrevocable. He, gifted Karna with a celestial weapon called Bargavastra along with Parashurama's personal bow called Vijaya and blessed him that in the end, Karna would achieve what he wanted the most- an everlasting glory and greatness. Some folklore also tells that, it was Lord Indra himself who took the form of a scorpion to sting Karna's thigh in order to expose his intrinsic identity that he was a Kshatriya.

Departing from Parashurama's ashram, Karna wandered for some time. On his way, while practicing the shabdavedi vidya (the ability to hit a target by just observing the sound), he mistook a cow for a wild animal and shot an arrow at it and killed it. Incensed by this incident, the Brahmin who owned the cow cursed him, stating that as he had killed a helpless unattentive animal, Karna too would be killed in the same way when he was most helpless with his concentration being diverted away from his enemy at that crucial moment.

Andhra folklore further states that on his way, Karna encountered a child who was crying over her pot of spilt ghee. On asking her the reason for her dismay, she stated that she feared her step mother who would be angry over her carelessness. Being generous enough Karna tells her that he will give her new ghee. But, the child insists that she wanted only the ghee that was mixed with the soil and refuses to take the new ghee. Taking pity on the girl, Karna started to take the soil mixed with ghee in his fist and squeezes his hand with all his strength to extract the ghee and pours it back in to the pot. During this process, Karna hears a painful voice of a woman from his hand. When he opens his fist, he finds that it was Bhoomadevi- the Earth goddess. Angered with pain, she criticises Karna for inflicting enormous pain to mother earth just for the sake of a mere child. So, the Earth goddess curses him that in a very crucial battle of his life, she will hold his chariot wheel in the same way he held the fistful of soil thereby making him vulnerable to his enemy.

Thus, Karna is cursed on three separate and independent occasions. Unfortunately, each of these curses becomes operational at the same crucial moment in the Kurukshetra war later making him weaponless, without a chariot and helpless.


Effect of Bhomadevi's curse
The effect of Bhoomadevi's curse is that Karna's chariot wheels will always get stuck on Earth on that crucial day of the battle. In case, Karna happen to use multiple chariots on that particular day, then each chariot wheels would have individually got stuck on Earth. Hence, using multiple chariot by Karna would not eliminate Bhoomadevi's curse.

KRISHNA'S TEST TO KARNA

Before approaching Karna, Krishna assumed the form of an indigent Brahmin. Karna asked him: "Who are you, Sir?" Karna was nearing his last breath. Even at that moment, without any hesitation or faltering in his voice, he put that question to the stranger. Krishna (as the poor Brahmin) replied: "For a longtime I have been hearing about your reputation as a charitable person. You have acquired fame as Daana Karna (Karna the great giver). Today, not knowing about your plight, I came to ask you for a gift. You must give me a donation." "Certainly. I shall give you whatever you want", replied Karna. "I have to perform the marriage of my son. I want a small quantity of gold", said Krishna. "Oh what a pity! Please go to my wife, she will give you as much as gold as you need", said Karna. The Brahmin broke into laughter. He said: "For the sake of a little gold have I to go all he way to Hastinapura? If you say you are not in a position to give me what I ask, I shall leave you." Karna declared: "As long as breath remains in me, I will not say no to anyone." Karna opened his mouth, showed the gold fillings for his teeth and said: "I shall give this to you. You can take them". Assuming a tone of revulsion, Krishna said: "What is it you suggest? Do you expect me to break your teeth and take the gold from them? How can I do such a wicked deed? I am a Brahmin."

KARNA'S PRAYER TO KRISHNA

Immediately, Karna picked up a stone nearby, knocked out his teeth and offered them to the "Brahmin". Krishna in his guise as Brahmin wanted to test Karna further. "What? Are you giving me as gift teeth dripping with blood? I cannot accept this. I am leaving", he said. Karna pleaded: "Swami, please wait for a moment." Even while he was unable to move, Karna took out his arrow and aimed it at the sky. Immediately rain dropped from the clouds, Cleaning the teeth with the rainwater. Karna offered the teeth with both his hands. Krishna then revealed His original form.

Karna asked: "Who are you, Sir?". Krishna said: "I am Krishna. I admire your spirit of sacrifice. In any circumstance you have never given up your spirit of sacrifice. Ask me what you want. "Beholding Krishna's beauteous form, Karna said with folded hands: "Krishna! Aaapadbaandhava! (Oh! Reliever of troubles!) Lokarakshaka! (Protector of the world!) Oh Lord, who holds the Universe in your palm, what can I seek from you? At this moment of my passing, to close my eyes gazing on your Divine form, this is my greatest blessing. This is boon enough for me. To have the vision of the Lord before one's passing is the goal of human existence. You came to me and blessed me with your form. This is enough for me. I offer my salutations to you".

LESSON FOR ARJUNA

Arjuna was observing the whole scene. Krishna turned to him and said: "Are you prepared for this kind of sacrifice?" Arjuna bowed his head in silence. The Lord praised the greatness of the quality of sacrifice in man. Of all kinds of sacrifice, the greatest is the sacrifice made for God.

"Oh Lord! That heart which you gave unto me. I am offering to you. What else can I bring to offer at your lotus feet? I prostrate before you. Please accept my offering." This was the prayer addressed by Karna to Krishna.

Generosity and character
Following his accession to Anga's throne, Karna took an oath that anyone who approached him with a request at midday, when he would worship the Sun, would not go away with his request unfulfilled. He would never let anyone leave empty-handed. This practice contributed to Karna's fame as well as to his downfall, as Indra and Kunti took advantage of it. Further, Karna gets cursed by Bhoomadevi when he tries to fulfill the request of a girl over a ghee that fell in the soil. In the case of Abhimanyu in Chakravyooh, Karna acts in a different way when Abhimanyu requests him to offer a weapon when Abhimanyu was weaponless

Loss of armour
Indra, king of the gods (Devas) and father of Arjuna, realized that Karna would be invincible and immortal in battle as long as he had the golden armour suit and earrings that he was born with. During the Pandavas' exile, when war was imminent, Indra took it upon himself to weaken Karna. He decided to approach Karna as a poor brahmin during his mid-day worship. . Surya warned Karna of Indra's intentions, exhorting him not to give away his armour and earrings. Karna thanks Surya but explains he is bound by his word and can not send anyone from his door empty handed even if it means his death. As Surya had predicted, a disguised Indra approached Karna and asked for his kavacha (body armour) and kundala (earrings) as alms. Karna readily gives them away, cutting the armor and earrings off his body. Indra, shamed into generosity by Karna's gesture, reciprocates by giving Karna the boon to use Indra's most powerful weapon, the Vasavi shakti, but only once. It is at this point that he earns the name Vaikartana, as he cut the armor off his body without flinching.

Kunti and Karna
As the war approached, Kunti met Karna to reveal his true identity. She told him that she was his mother and that he was her son. Then, both of them shared a touching moment together. She told him to call himself as 'Kaunteya' (son of Kunti) instead of 'Radheya', then Karna replies that he wanted the entire world to recognise him as a Radheya and not as a Kaunteya. Kunti asks Karna to join the Pandavas and become the king. Karna refuses and tells Kunti that had she been willing to call him as Kaunteya many years ago when he appeared at the tournament, then things would have been very different. But it was too late now for him to make this change. He further states that being a friend of Duryodhana, he cannot betray the trust of his friend. However, he promises Kunti that he will not kill any of the Pandavas except Arjuna. Both, Karna and Arjuna have sworn to kill each other, and thus one of them were bound to die. So, he tells Kunti that she can only dream of having five sons- the fifth one being either him or Arjuna. Karna requests his mother to keep their relationship and his royal birth a secret until his death.

Kunti also seeks another promise from Karna of not using an arrow / divine weapon more than once. Karna promises her this too. As a result, Karna could not use the Nagastra weapon more than once in the Kurukshetra war later.


On the seventeenth day of the battle, the much awaited duel between Karna and Arjuna finally took place. Both were evenly matched during this spectacular combat. Karna has been gifted with a bow called Vijaya by his guru Parashurama. This bow was designed by Vishwakarma himself. On Duryodhana's request, Shalya reluctantly agreed to drive Karna's chariot. His charioteer skills were equal to that of Lord Krishna after having mastered Ashwahridaya - "Art of Horses".

During the battle, when Arjuna's arrows struck Karna's chariot, it moved back by several feet. However, when Karna's arrows struck Arjuna's chariot, it moved back only by a few inches. Krishna praised Karna for this. But, Arjuna got astonished and asked him the reason for his praise, since his (Arjuna's) arrows were more effective than that of Karna. In response, Krishna told Arjuna that Karna's chariot bore only the weight of Karna and Shalya. On the other hand, Arjuna's chariot bore the weight of the entire universe since Krishna and Hanuman were on the chariot. Despite this, Karna was able to move it by inches.

Similarly, Karna cuts the string of Arjuna's bow multiple times. But, at each instant he finds that Arjuna was able to tie back the bow string at a wink of an eye (in extremely short time). For this, Karna praises Arjuna and remarks to Shalya that now he understood as why people call him the greatest archer in the world.

Karna and Arjuna fought a long and intense duel utilizing their full knowledge of divine weaponry and tactics against each other. Karna uses his "Nagastra" and aims it at Arjuna's head in an effort to sever it from Arjuna's body. But, Lord Krishna cleverly saves Arjuna by plunging the chariot into the earth at the right time. As a result, the "Nagastra" just pierces Arjuna's crown istead of his head. The snake Ashwasena that was present as a Nagastra came before Karna and requested him to reuse this weapon again, so that it will not spare Arjuna this time. Karna refused to use this arrow again (due to his second promise to mother Kunti). Though the duel was initially held at a stalemate, Karna is hampered when his chariot wheel sinks into the ground on a loose wet soil (The Bhooma Devi's curse thus came into effect). He also finds himself unable to remember the incantations for divine weapons, as his teacher Parashurama had foretold. Descending from his chariot to remove the wheel, he requests Arjuna to wait until it is set right as per the rules of battle. Krishna told Arjuna that Karna has no right to refer to the rules at this point, after having violated the same by himself while killing Abhimanyu (See below). He urged Arjuna to shoot him while he is helpless (The Brahman's curse came into effect here). Lord Krishna told Arjuna that if he does not kill Karna at this critical juncture of the war, he may never be able to kill him and the Pandavas may never win the war. Thus, Arjuna decapitates Karna by using a divine arrow


After Karna's death
Following the war, funeral rites were performed for all the fallen. Kunti then requests her sons to perform the rites for Karna as well. When they protest, saying he was a suta, she reveals the truth of his birth. The brothers are shocked to find they have committed fratricide. Yudhishtira in particular is furious with his mother, and curses all women to never be able to keep a secret from that point on.

Yudhisthira and Duryodhana both wanted to perform the last rites for Karna. Yudhisthira claimed that the right was his, given the fact that he was Karna's own younger brother. Duryodhana claimed that Yudhisthira never treated Karna as a brother and couldn't claim any rights at this point of time. At this point, Lord Krishna intervened and convinced Yudhisthira that the bond of friendship is greater, and that Duryodhana should be given the right to perform Karna's last rites.

After the 18-day Mahabharata war at Kurukshetra ends, Lord Krishna asks Arjuna to step down from his chariot. When Arjuna does so, Krishna then takes Arjuna some distance away from the chariot. Then he signals to Lord Hanuman seated on the chariot to get up. The moment Lord Hanuman jumps off the chariot, Arjuna's horses are burnt alive and his chariot explodes into pieces. Seeing this, Arjuna is shocked. Krishna then tells him that the deadly astras of Bheeshma, Drona, Karna and Ashwattama had caused the destruction of Arjuna's horses and chariot. It was the divine presence of Lord Hanuman that maintained the chariot in a proper condition by postponing the effects of their divine weapons.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Dance Show - Lesson I learnt.

Hi friends,

I was watching one of the dance shows coming on the tv where pairs come and dance. There are good number of pairs which have come and danced on the floor. What makes a winner is how much each other understand rather than how beautiful they are. The pair which was looking great could not make to next round where as the pair which was not so great looking but had perfect understanding made it. Similarly in life how big wife and husband doesnt make sense but how much each they can forgive each other and take others burden counts.

Hope lord vishnu bless us all.

P S N KUMAR

Father

A father is a source of strength,
A teacher and a guide,
The one his family looks up to
With loving trust and pride...
A father is a helper
With a willing hand to lend,
A partner, an adviser,
And the finest kind of friend




Unfortunately I could not become a good son nor a good father.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Positive Mind set

Having a positive mindset towards your goals is a prerequisite for any meaningful achievement you will make in life.

Your mindset is at the top of the deciding factors of your success in life. Having faith in your ability to achieve your specific goals and actually believing that it will happen means that all your body systems are poised for such achievements. And this will make it possible for you to take the required actions towards achieving such goals.

These actions could be in a form of step by step hurdles which are achievable one after the other, in order to simplify the process of actualizing your goals.

A negative mindset, on the other hand, will discourage your body systems from taking any constructive steps towards the specific goals you have in mind and this if not properly controlled will lead to set backs.

A positive mindset is an aspect of Positive Self Talk. It is a powerful force which enables you to see life as worth-living and makes all things possible and achievable. If you believe you will succeed on a specific goal it will make it attractive and worth while for you to take the necessary steps towards achieving the goals.

A weak mindset needs to be put in the proper shape because it is most likely to lower your progress in life.

One of the best ways to reconstruct how your mind works is to establish a belief or even a faith. A strong belief or faith is a powerful tool, which when properly harnessed with the right actions will propel you to big and outstanding successes.

If you believe you will succeed on a specific goal and you see yourself taking practical daily steps and actions towards the set goals, it is only a matter of time for the goal to manifest.


Thoughts Create Things

All those scenarios created in the past have become your realities.

Thoughts are things and that's what they do - they become materialized.

Any thoughts consistently held with emotion will seek to manifest itself in the material world.

That's the secret of the mind manifestation.



•In the beginning, the price of giving great love is risking that it won't be returned. Until you understand, of course, that great love is always returned.

With interest,

Friday, June 12, 2009

t-20 chase has a limit.

Hi friends ,

After a long time with a new post. One thing that i have learnt from t-20 is even in this short form of game inspite of knowing the target teams tend to fail. This has given me a reason that even in life which is short we tend to fail. Like people who wish to have kids but still they fail. After long time i think i have also failed in few shorter aspects which i am digesting slowly as there is no other vent leftout. Keep watching t-20 and hope the best team wins.

May lord vishnu keep everybody happy.

P.S.N.KUMAR

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